Sunday, July 19, 2009
A little background........
Our families lived completely different lifestyles. He was born in the Napa Valley, and raised here on a small ranch. I was born in Grass Valley and lived there until I turned 8. At that point my parents decided it was time to move. My father rec'd a job with the State Of Ca., Parks and Rec. We began what would be a 12 yr life within the Ca. system. We were transferred to San Diego Ca. living there for a bit. Then to Carlsbad, Santa Barbara, Goleta, then Gaviota. At that time I was in 10Th grade. Stayed there longed enough to make friends. Then the orders came down. We would be moving once again. This time at least we had a choice. Each choice was 300 mi north of where we currently resided.
His choices were Lake Orville or Bothe Napa State Park. After visiting both locations, he decided that it was to be Napa Valley, CA. He would be stepping in to a supervisory position which he had been working towards..
So, I finish my 10Th grade year at Santa Ynez High School. The first place I had actually met and made some great friends. I let my guard down and in turn I was accepted. I really enjoyed living in Gaviota and going to SY high school. I joined the basketball team.. For the first time I can actually say that my life was full of friends. I had a couple best friends and actually more than one boyfriend.
So the summer of my 10th grade year we moved 330 miles north. Bye bye Socal, hello norcal. I was gonna miss my life and my friends. It was very hard this time. We've moved so many times that I had gotten use to it. Or I thought I had. At 16 yrs of age, friends are very important. My issue and it would continue to haunt me for the rest of my life is that I don't know how to maintain a friendship. With all the moving, I stopped trying to maintain the relationship. Sad but true. To this day I don't have one friend that has been there for longer than a few years. So, that is a real difference between myself and my husband. He still has many friends some date back to 1st grade.
I moved to Napa in 1976. I actually made some friends. Things were pretty good. I met Strap just after I graduated in 1981 from a local high school. We dated for a couple of years. We got married in 1985, and we had our first child in 1987. A little girl. PERFECT. She is the light of our lives. We had a pretty good life. Some bumps along the way but all and all we are doing well.
During the next few years we moved alot. Its funny. Now I see a pattern. Although we never left Napa, we must have moved 4 or 5 times since we got together. We volunteered with the local Pop Warner program as our daughter was a cheerleader. That began in 1997. I was dx with RA shortly there after. We continued with the PW program. I became a coach for the cheer side and the hubby was the bbqer at games. We were with this program for about 8 yrs. I ended up being the Cheer Director for our final year, 2005.
In 2007, just prior to straps dx we decided to buy a home. I spoke of this previously. It was pretty stressful from beginning to end. But we have our own home. Its a dream come true. It may not be what family members would have wanted for us but we are quite happy. Our payments are less than what we were putting out for rent and it won't be too much to take care of later on, with all things considered.
We have my daughter back with us for a short time and our nephew. Once they move out on their own the house will seem bigger. We have done a lot of work with the assistance of family and friends. One friend in particular. My hubby's best friend Tim. He really has come through with some major time and we couldn't have done it without him.
We had the wood floors refinished, the interior painted, a tankless water heater, and most recently a sliding glass door. This house is ours and we actually are quite comfortable here. I still have it somewhere in the back of my head that it was probably not a good decision but I felt that my husband deserved to at least get a chance to own his own home. We have a large yard with flowers and a garden. We enjoy being out there just as our parents did with their yards. Its funny how I used to harass by parents about all the time they spent in the yard gardening, little did I know how therapeutic it was. I now know.
My husband is my best friend. The only real girl friend I have I rarely see. Its my fault as I've stated because I don't know how to keep a friendship going. I just never had that experience. She knows me pretty well and she is always there when I need her. I know that's not fair but I don't know how to change it. I would love to go shopping or out for drinks with her but I just can't seem to make the effort. Maybe some day. We all say that about something, don't we.